Oh Halloween. I know people like Halloween. I know it's supposed to be a fun thing. But I am just really not a fan. Perhaps it's Halloween, perhaps it's just life in general, perhaps it's the fact that my brain just has a dearth of serotonin, but I'm "off" tonight. I just feel weird, and it feels like things just aren't right. Something feels unsettled. I know I have friends who would tell me "it's because the energy on Halloween is different/stronger/fill-in-an-adjective." I know I have friends who would say "it's just a rough day that happens to fall on Halloween." I'm pretty sure I have friends that would say something like, "ummm...did you sleep last night? Too much caffeine? Stress at work? Dunno, dude."
I dunno either, so I'm not going to pretend to have any answers.
I do know that I really kind of dislike Halloween. I don't even know why. I mean, I can tell you about the time I was 8 and my elementary school had a "haunted house" that I went through. The damn thing scared me so badly I refused to celebrate Halloween for the next two years. I am unnecessarily sensitive to all things frightening, and I always have been. When I did decide to celebrate Halloween again, we ran into some teenage boys in very scary masks with lots of blood and gore, and I wanted to swear off of Halloween forever.
**Embarrassing confession** When I was a kid, I was ridiculously frightened by Nancy Drew. I was
This was Nancy Drew, people. I cried over freaking Nancy Drew.
It's not that I'm scared of everything. I mean, I watched "The Exorcist," and I had no idea why people thought it was scary. I think, though, that things like demonic possession are so far outside of my worldview and beliefs, that it just doesn't scare me at all. I had a friend who insisted that "Hide and Seek" (the movie with Dakota Fanning) wasn't scary. I told her I was going to be scared, and I told her I didn't want to watch it...but she insisted, so we did. I swear to goodness, I didn't sleep for a week. I had nightmares for a month. And I never let her live it down. "Practical Magic" -- you know, the silly romantic comedy type movie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman? I hate that movie. I get too scared to enjoy it.
You shouldn't be surprised to learn that I read a lot of non-fiction. I enjoy fiction. I really do. But...sometimes, just plain ol' non-fiction is better.
I know some people enjoy the feeling of being scared, and I can't understand it. Like, at all. I'm also not a fan of dressing up and calling attention to myself...so...that's pretty much that whole holiday gone by. I'm okay with it. Really. Just the chocolate is enough.
At any rate, I was talking with a new friend a few weeks ago, and found out that she blogs. Yay! So awesome, thought I. And then I continued to open my mouth and talk about the challenge of NaBloPoMo, and how it's a really good exercise, and I think I may have suggested that we do it together. At least, that seems to be what she indicated on her blog, here. WHAT was I THINKING!?! Haven't I learned from my mistakes already?
Apparently not, because here we go again. Tomorrow is November 1, and already we're off to an interesting start.