tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352901349659628092.post3986897909488521548..comments2023-10-28T08:56:55.332-04:00Comments on Autodidactpoet: Yesterday's post, part 2Autodidactpoethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16860752713734930046noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352901349659628092.post-24561142637460434522013-12-01T09:34:19.123-05:002013-12-01T09:34:19.123-05:00I wanted to say...more or less exactly what Reticu...I wanted to say...more or less exactly what Reticula said, actually. <br /><br />Once I had a friend very sincerely give me one of those talks, those "I'm-concerned-you're-going-to-die-alone-and-miserable" talks. And I nodded and smiled, and later chewed it over with my roommate. (I haven't had roommates in over 9 years so it was a while ago!) And I realized, with her help, that my friend hadn't meant to imply that my life as it stood was awful. Instead, she was a person who had truly found her happiness in her spouse - they brought out good things in each other, made each other stronger. And because I do love this friend, I let it slide away. She was just seeing everything through the filter of her own path to happiness. And I'm guilty of that sometimes too. If I get to talking to someone about how happy I am (very, thank you!), and especially if they seem to long for some kind of new ground of happiness in their own life, it is VERY tempting to talk about the ways I got here. But that's my filter, my path. It's like when people ask me about how I lost weight. All I can tell you is how I did it; I can't tell you what to do. It's hard. But I remind myself that's the perspective some of my married friends are coming from.<br /><br />Anyway - thank you for writing this. Blogs are not any more self-centered than good, grounding conversations with friends, I don't think.Jenhttp://www.examorata.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352901349659628092.post-4433414542311057982013-11-30T22:03:31.322-05:002013-11-30T22:03:31.322-05:00Who gives a crap what other people think about whe...Who gives a crap what other people think about whether you date or get married or have kids? You? Why? Do their lives look so perfect that they now get to work on making your life a copy of theirs? I doubt it. Lately I've been getting a lot of ..... I'll call it feedback, but what it feels more like unwanted advice. It pisses me off, so I'm working on examining this feedback objectively, deciding if it has value for me, and then ignoring it. In some cases, I've decided to ignore the person giving it as well, because so much examination takes too much time and energy I'm not willing to devote. I have decided to dedicate what time I have to people who don't make me feel that judged in that way.<br /><br />You can decide not to devote time and energy to unwanted advice and judgment too, including mine. Learn to smile like Mona Lisa and only tell your stories to people who can receive them in a way that fills you up.Reticulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05577343017332273507noreply@blogger.com