I am the keeper of the Transformers

This poem is not what I intended to write tonight.  I started a post yesterday that I thought of the day before that I want to finish...but this poem suddenly wanted to be written.  This is exactly how it fell onto the page, attempt one, little to no editing...but here it is anyway.  

I wrote an "I Am" poem about two years ago when I did a poetry service at church with my friend Reticula.  I shared that poem here.  Here is an updated "I Am" poem, two years later.  

I am the keeper of the Transformers

I am the keeper of the Transformers.

The gateway to Thomas the Tank Engine, Spiderman, and Captain America,

I am the helper of badass kids who want what they want when they want it

but learn to get what they get when they earn it.

I am floating bubbles bringing open-mouthed belly laughs,

quiet praise and jubilant exclamations for cleaned up blocks,

bottoms in chairs, fingers on noses, and hands not used for hitting.

I am "that lady with the stickers and chips"

the talking doctor, the worry doctor, the un-cross doctor,   

and the M&M dispenser.

I am a Swamp Monster, a Potato Head, a Poo-poo Face, and

a doctor who doesn't even know the names of all the Pokemons.

I can certainly be a disappointment.

I am words on a page hiding a face,

longing for connection behind the plain-face type.

I am gentle and fierce; fiercely gentle and tough --

I will stand up while sitting down with words that give me

a presence I don't understand. 

I am a fighter of injustice, I am

finding, using, discovering, uncovering

my voice; I am

scared of, trying to find, racing towards, running from

my power; I am

blossoming.

I am quick to smile,

the familiar face that reminds people of Sarah, or Elizabeth, or someone I'm not --

but could be, if the tables were turned.

I am hiding in a crowd

overwhelmed by its energy, I am the one who is swallowed by extraversion. 

I am skirts and scarves, boots, and wool sweaters.

I am a nose-ring and a secretly desired tattoo -- covertly funky

while fitting just barely inside the constraints of professionalism.

I am dog kisses and long walks at the park, 

the saver of stinkbugs and earthworms,

I am the prayer that is whispered for road kill on the highway

and the first to smash a cricket.

I am full of contradictions and always far from perfect.

I am sleepless nights.

The birther and fighter of worry bullies.

I am long emails and handwritten notes in the mail,

I am a vaguely familiar melody. 

I am too much, too intense, too emotional, too nice:

I am an out-of-bounds, free-form soul

expanding the edges of my existence.

I am inviting you to join me.

I am not enough for all I want to create,

but always searching for all I can be.  I am bearing my soul because

it's the only way I know to change the world.

I am loving this world with all I have to give. 

I am the keeper of the Transformers.

I am one gateway of hope in a world that needs transforming

so I open myself to being

transformed.