I had the opportunity to meet some of my neighbors
today. Well -- not neighbors, really, as
they are a pretty long walk away, but we'll call them neighbors nonetheless. While
on a walk with Marshall this afternoon, they ran up to greet me.
"Can I pet your dog?" asked the boy in
the black Ravens shirt.
"Sure," I said.
"Is him a boy or a girl?" he asked.
"He's a boy," I said.
"Why does hims have a purple fing on hims
neck?" he asked. "I finked he
was a girl because hims fing is purple."
He chuckled as if I was so very silly -- giving my boy dog a purple
collar.
"You thought he was a girl because his collar
is purple?" I asked. "You
know, I think anybody can wear any color they like. Marshall just happens to like purple."
"Oh," he said.
A girl in a pink Ravens jersey came and joined us.
"He has a dog," she said, pointing to
the boy. "A puppy. I'm not his sister. He lives there. I live here."
"Oh, so you're neighbors then!" I
said. "That's nice. You guys must have fun playing
together."
"Mmmmhmmm," she said, spinning in the
grass. "Except EVERY TIME he comes
over, he wants to play Spongebob Yahtzee Junior, but I don't always want to
play that game! It's EVERY TIME!!!"
The boy giggled.
"You must really like Spongebob
Yahtzee," I said.
"Spongebob Yahtzee Junior," he corrected
me. "I OH-WAYS want to pway it, but
hers NEVER wants to pway it, and then I can't pway it because hers won't pway
it wif me!"
"I play it sometimes," she said. "Just not ALL the time, because we have
to find time to play other games, too."
"But sometimes we should play Spongebob
Yahtzee Junior," he said, as he kissed Marshall's butt. "I love dogs," he continued. "I will hug and kiss them
allathetime. Allathetime I will just
kiss them and kiss them because I love them. And we were digging in the gwass
and watering hers twee, even though its a big twee and we only has a wittle
water. Also, she's my girlfwend." He looked at the girl and laughed.
"I am NOT your girlfriend!" she
exclaimed. "He always says that
and...I am not your girlfriend. I'm
not." She went back over to the
tree she had been digging under before I arrived.
"How do you know she's your girlfriend?"
I asked him.
"Because I told her hers was my
girlfwend," he said, matter-of-factly.
"Ohhhh," I said.
"BUT I'M NOT," she called from under the
tree.
"Well, you know, the thing is," I said,
"is that there is a really important rule about being girlfriends and
boyfriends." The girl put down the
stick she was digging with and came back over.
"The rule is that in order for people to be boyfriends and
girlfriends, both people need to agree."
The girl looked at me and paused, while the boy
continued kissing Marshall's side, ears, and tail.
"You know how you want to play Spongebob
Yahtzee Junior, but you can't play if both of you don't agree to play
together?"
"Yeah," he said. "When hers doesn't want to pway, I can't
pway it because you need two people to pway it."
"Right," I nodded. "It's the same way with boyfriends and
girlfriends. Both people need to say 'YES' in order to be boyfriends and girlfriends."
"Oh," he said. "Did you know that Spongebob isn't my
favowite show? I wike Paw Patrol
better."
"Really?" I said. "I like Chase. Who is your favorite?"
And he told me that he likes Everest, and she told
me that she doesn't like Paw Patrol, and they talked about the hole they were
digging under the tree, and then I left.
Dear
neighbors:
Sorrynotsorry
about the education I gave your children today.
I don't
always provide sexuality and relationship education to random 5 and 6 year
olds. Just when the opportunity presents
itself.
It takes a
village,
Me.
The village says thank you.
ReplyDelete