Scaredy Cat

Oh Halloween.  I know people like Halloween.  I know it's supposed to be a fun thing.  But I am just really not a fan.  Perhaps it's Halloween, perhaps it's just life in general, perhaps it's the fact that my brain just has a dearth of serotonin, but I'm "off" tonight.  I just feel weird, and it feels like things just aren't right.  Something feels unsettled.  I know I have friends who would tell me "it's because the energy on Halloween is different/stronger/fill-in-an-adjective."  I know I have friends who would say "it's just a rough day that happens to fall on Halloween."  I'm pretty sure I have friends that would say something like, "ummm...did you sleep last night?  Too much caffeine?  Stress at work?  Dunno, dude."

I dunno either, so I'm not going to pretend to have any answers.  

I do know that I really kind of dislike Halloween.  I don't even know why.  I mean, I can tell you about the time I was 8 and my elementary school had a "haunted house" that I went through.  The damn thing scared me so badly I refused to celebrate Halloween for the next two years.  I am unnecessarily sensitive to all things frightening, and I always have been.  When I did decide to celebrate Halloween again, we ran into some teenage boys in very scary masks with lots of blood and gore, and I wanted to swear off of Halloween forever.

**Embarrassing confession** When I was a kid, I was ridiculously frightened by Nancy Drew.  I was

reading it late into the night (after I was supposed to be asleep), and Nancy was stuck under the stairs and people were coming that were (presumably) bad folks...and I cried.  And I went into my parents bedroom and confessed that I was reading, and that I was terrified by Nancy Drew.

This was Nancy Drew, people.  I cried over freaking Nancy Drew.  

It's not that I'm scared of everything.  I mean, I watched "The Exorcist," and I had no idea why people thought it was scary.  I think, though, that things like demonic possession are so far outside of my worldview and beliefs, that it just doesn't scare me at all.  I had a friend who insisted that "Hide and Seek" (the movie with Dakota Fanning) wasn't scary.  I told her I was going to be scared, and I told her I didn't want to watch it...but she insisted, so we did.  I swear to goodness, I didn't sleep for a week.  I had nightmares for a month.  And I never let her live it down.  "Practical Magic" -- you know, the silly romantic comedy type movie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman? I hate that movie.  I get too scared to enjoy it.  

You shouldn't be surprised to learn that I read a lot of non-fiction.  I enjoy fiction.  I really do.  But...sometimes, just plain ol' non-fiction is better.

I know some people enjoy the feeling of being scared, and I can't understand it.  Like, at all.   I'm also not a fan of dressing up and calling attention to myself...so...that's pretty much that whole holiday gone by.  I'm okay with it.  Really.  Just the chocolate is enough.

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At any rate, I was talking with a new friend a few weeks ago, and found out that she blogs.  Yay!  So awesome, thought I.  And then I continued to open my mouth and talk about the challenge of NaBloPoMo, and how it's a really good exercise, and I think I may have suggested that we do it together.  At least, that seems to be what she indicated on her blog, here.  WHAT was I THINKING!?!  Haven't I learned from my mistakes already?

Apparently not, because here we go again.  Tomorrow is November 1, and already we're off to an interesting start.