Day 29: Word One

IT IS DAY 29!!!!  That means I have only one more day of (self-imposed mandatory consecutive) poeming left.  I'm really surprised that...I'm actually going to miss it.  I KNOW, I know, I complained a lot in the beginning...but...well...more about that after I get these last two poems written.  It's been cool, you know?  It's actually been a really cool thing to do.  Much more cool than I thought it would be.  I mean, who writes 29 (soon to be 30) poems in as many days?   This girl!  (And "cool" is pretty much the least articulate word I could use here...but...I still need to poem, so we're sticking with "cool" for now). 

I had a poem I wanted to write tonight - a really beautiful poem that made me all teary and full of ALL the feelings as I was trying to write it in my head.  But then my night went a little haywire when I dared to go grocery shopping, and I couldn't get back into that headspace to finish them poem.  

So here's a poem instead about the struggle.

Word One

This is the way you write the truth:

you write the lies.

you cry.

you stop writing.

you wait.

This is the way you write the truth:

you forget what you know.

you remember what you don't.

you realize you can't say it.

you decide not to try.

This is the way you write the truth:

you type and erase, type and erase,

throwing words at the wall 

trying to find the one that will stick,

and when that word sticks,

you run, as fast as you can

in the other direction so its history all unravels

like a trail of breadcrumbs waiting

for you to find your way back.

This is the way you write the truth:

you follow the thread

all the way back to start.

You examine the word in its truth

hold it up to the light

make sure it is yours

smell it, taste it, breathe it,

hold it inside.

You decide to use it - 

knowing you're no closer to the end,

but you're braver from the journey.

This is the way you write the truth: 

you start again

for the second word.