Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I am the keeper of the Transformers

This poem is not what I intended to write tonight.  I started a post yesterday that I thought of the day before that I want to finish...but this poem suddenly wanted to be written.  This is exactly how it fell onto the page, attempt one, little to no editing...but here it is anyway.  

I wrote an "I Am" poem about two years ago when I did a poetry service at church with my friend Reticula.  I shared that poem here.  Here is an updated "I Am" poem, two years later.  

I am the keeper of the Transformers

I am the keeper of the Transformers.
The gateway to Thomas the Tank Engine, Spiderman, and Captain America,
I am the helper of badass kids who want what they want when they want it
but learn to get what they get when they earn it.
I am floating bubbles bringing open-mouthed belly laughs,
quiet praise and jubilant exclamations for cleaned up blocks,
bottoms in chairs, fingers on noses, and hands not used for hitting.
I am "that lady with the stickers and chips"
the talking doctor, the worry doctor, the un-cross doctor,   
and the M&M dispenser.
I am a Swamp Monster, a Potato Head, a Poo-poo Face, and
a doctor who doesn't even know the names of all the Pokemons.

I can certainly be a disappointment.

I am words on a page hiding a face,
longing for connection behind the plain-face type.
I am gentle and fierce; fiercely gentle and tough --
I will stand up while sitting down with words that give me
a presence I don't understand. 
I am a fighter of injustice, I am
finding, using, discovering, uncovering
my voice; I am
scared of, trying to find, racing towards, running from
my power; I am

I am quick to smile,
the familiar face that reminds people of Sarah, or Elizabeth, or someone I'm not --
but could be, if the tables were turned.
I am hiding in a crowd
overwhelmed by its energy, I am the one who is swallowed by extraversion. 
I am skirts and scarves, boots, and wool sweaters.
I am a nose-ring and a secretly desired tattoo -- covertly funky
while fitting just barely inside the constraints of professionalism.
I am dog kisses and long walks at the park, 
the saver of stinkbugs and earthworms,
I am the prayer that is whispered for road kill on the highway
and the first to smash a cricket.

I am full of contradictions and always far from perfect.

I am sleepless nights.
The birther and fighter of worry bullies.
I am long emails and handwritten notes in the mail,
I am a vaguely familiar melody. 
I am too much, too intense, too emotional, too nice:
I am an out-of-bounds, free-form soul
expanding the edges of my existence.

I am inviting you to join me.

I am not enough for all I want to create,
but always searching for all I can be.  I am bearing my soul because
it's the only way I know to change the world.
I am loving this world with all I have to give. 

I am the keeper of the Transformers.
I am one gateway of hope in a world that needs transforming
so I open myself to being