Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Poopoo Face

You should know better than to trust me at this point.  I like to promise exciting blog posts about awesome things...and then back off...and then forget about them.  I AM going to write an updated This I Believe essay, but not tonight.  Honestly, it probably won't be tomorrow night either.  I should learn not to promise such things.

I scheduled entirely too many clients today -- which is no one's fault but my own -- and I'm just completely exhausted.  I didn't get home until around 8PM, which means that now, at 9:30, I've just started to settle in.  When I've been in session for so many hours (I had 7 hours of direct, face-to-face therapy hours today, 6 of which were back-to-back), I start to get a little funny.  By "a little funny," I mean that I get weirdly talkative about inane things when I get out of session.  I'm that weird exhausted/hyper/tired thing where you're just...I don't know.  Weird.  Am I the only one that gets this way?

On days like this, I've been known to call my sister and say something like "I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW DON'T SAY ANYTHING!" or "I need to talk to somebody about something other than poop right now.  Can you talk to me about something other than poop, toileting, bathroom habits, fecal smearing, and nocturnal enuresis?  You can?  THANK GOD!" or "I'm going to talk to you on the condition that you don't bite me, spit on me, yell at me, curse me out, or pee on the floor.  Can you agree to these terms?  Yes?  Okay.  Proceed."

I actually didn't talk about poop, vomit, or urine at all today, which is unusual.  I also did not get bitten, spit on, yelled at, or peed on, which is also a bit unusual.  It's more of an I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW sort of evening, except I don't have anything to talk about.  I am all talked out.  Luckily, Mo-Man is being extra cuddly this evening.  He's always generous with his hugs, but I think he knows when I have long days.

The only thing I could talk about is headaches and, quite frankly, I'm so tired of thinking about headaches that I don't even want to write about it.  I've been entirely unsuccessful thus far in finding headache answers.  I take that back...I've not been unsuccessful, I'm just being inpatient.  It seems like a head transplant is the only answer left to consider, and I'm really not sure how well that one's been tested yet.  Also, the problem with working with kids with behavior concerns, is you need to work in rooms with no windows, because windows can break.  The problem with rooms with no windows is that they have awful fluorescent lighting.  The problem with fluorescent lighting is that it leads to headaches.  The problem with 7 hours of therapy is a lot of time in the rooms with the fluorescent lights, which leads to headaches.  The other issue with working with children with behavior concerns is that there is generally a lot of screaming and vocalizing.  The OTHER issue with 7 hours of therapy is that there isn't much time for lunch/to eat.  The problem with headaches is that you eventually cave and want to swallow something to give you relief to keep going, and the problem with this is that, if you haven't eaten, the meds will eat you.

So, basically, I was eaten by meds today in a room with fluorescent lights and vocalizing children with no food and a headache.  It wasn't a bad day.  It's just a day like any other day, really.

But I take it back.  I totally talked about poop today.  In fact, I spent probably 40 minutes working on bathroom issues with a kid, and I got called Poo-poo Face in the process.  I knew it was too weird to have gone the ENTIRE day without this topic.  I'm not an MD, but I have gotten incredibly comfortable talking about others' bodily functions.  In fact, I probably made everybody uncomfortable just now talking about fecal smearing and such, didn't I?  Dammit, my sense of "normal" conversations people typically have throughout the day is so skewed, I don't even know what's offensive/uncomfortable anymore.  I mean, if this is on the most normal side of normal, can you imagine what a bad conversation sounds like?

OKAY!  Okay.  I'm done with the poop talk.

Let's talk instead about...oh forget it.  I was going to introduce a new, serious topic that could be a really good post, but I think I've ruined any chance of anyone taking me seriously tonight.  This Poo-poo Face is done for the night.

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