I came across this the other day, and it's been on my mind in several ways. I'm intrigued by the idea of writing as if, and what power that may (or may not) bring. Write as if you writing could change the world. Write as if your writing would save a life. Write as if your writing would change, or save, you.
To an extent, I think that's what I do. I think that's why I'm here, again, doing this silly challenge. I think it's why I keep writing, and writing, and writing. I'm writing as if, just in case I somehow live that someday into a reality.
I am writing as if tonight. My heart is heavy and my mind is busy with many other things...but I am here, and I am writing. I am writing as if writing is the way to unburden my heart and release my mind. Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but writing gives me -- as always -- something to hold on to. I'll take what I can get.
On another note, I went to Target today to buy some stuff for my sister, and I picked up a couple $5 movies to keep her on her butt, seeing as I can't seem to get her to listen to me. "Juno" was one of the movies I got -- which I have seen a number of times, and I find it just an interesting movie. At any rate, the cashier was an older woman who asked me, in a warning and wary tone, "have you seen this movie before?"
"I have," I said. "You know, I didn't care for it the first time I watched it, but it kind of grew on me after that."
She nodded, briefly. "I won't have this movie in my home," she said.
I nodded. "I can understand," I said. "It's not one of those movies everyone will enjoy, I guess." I made all sorts of judgments in my mind about her disapproval of this movie. Sex. Teen pregnancy. Discussion of abortion. Divorce. Adoption. A pretty crass teenager. I mean, I get it. It's not a movie I would have watched with my grandmother, for sure.
"I don't want this movie around my grandchildren," she continued. I nodded.
"I can see that," I said. I finished with the credit card machine and waited for her to push the final button and print my receipt, but she paused.
"I had my daughter when I was 17," she said. "And I chose to have her. I didn't consider the alternatives. And it was hard. I almost didn't graduate high school. I had a husband and a 6 month old, and I was cleaning the house after school and taking care of the baby...I almost didn't make it to graduation. But I did it. I did it all, and my daughter turned out just fine, but I don't need to be giving any of my grandbabies thoughts about teen pregnancy," she said.
"For sure," I said. "Sounds like it hits a little too close to home."
She paused. "Yep," she said. "You can say that. So that's why I just don't like that movie." She hit the button, my receipt printed, and I took my bag (with "Juno" inside).
"I understand," I said. "You take care," I said, walking away. She nodded slightly, with a look I couldn't quite interpret, before turning to help the next customer.